Victim-Blaming as Cultural Pasttime 

I know how hard it is to come forward about abuse. My ex-husband was a much-loved coach and community sports person when I left him. And then he tried to undermine my allegations by saying that I was a meth head, a horrible mom, had cheated on him repeatedly, and had had a nervous breakdown. Because I never took pictures or filed police reports ( although neighbors had called the police), it was his word against mine initially, and he was a master manipulator. And at the time, I had no voice, and was terrified of him. Time eventually tells all, and the truth DOES come out. But the process nearly destroyed me a second time. 
I know there are women who will play the situation to get monetary gain. But except for the few, the whole process of going through this kind of nightmare, without there being truth to it, is ridiculous. We need to stop victim-blaming, no matter how hot and famous the accused is. Very few women who choose to have every part of their life critiqued and analyzed for deceit and heresy are doing it for anything other than hoping that the truth will finally set them free.

*disclaimer* And for the record, I’ve NEVER done drugs of any kind. Heck, I never even drank until several years AFTER my children’s father and I were divorced. I’ve never cheated on anyone. Being a good mom is one of the things I’m the most proud of in my life. And, even though I’ve been repeatedly pushed the edge, I’ve never had a nervous breakdown.

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